Marriage and Relationship Counselling, Couples Therapy
We expect so much from our intimate relationships - support, love, friendship, excitement, passion, companionship, loyalty, sustenance and respect, for starters. So often these high hopes end with both partners feeling hurt, disappointed with and even betrayed by one another.
We believe it is not just the pressures of professional life and life in London that cause this. Rather, it is our understanding that couples are impaired in their ability to love and support each other because each (unconsciously) expects the other to heal the wounds of the past.
In our couples` work, personal stories are told so that understanding prevails over blame. This alters the dynamics of the relationship and enables both partners to find what they want and realise what is possible within the relationship. We find that discovering what drives destructive behaviours in the context of talking together can be intense, but also intensely healing. It produces profound change in the relationship, in both partners and, our couples often tell us, their children. (Indeed longitudinal studies in the US show that couples work produces healthier happier children - up to twenty years after the therapy.)
We do our couples as a team – that is, we work as a man and woman with both partners. We find this creates the ideal setting for containing the often explosive conflicts that couples bring us.
Many of the couples who come to us have previously seen a couples therapist or marriage counsellor who they feel "sided" with one partner or the other. Working as a male female team prevents this from happening.
Our sessions are one and a half hours long. Our experience is that most couples find they make substantial progress within six sessions. Indeed, many couples have expressed amazement at how much we are able to accomplish in such a short time. After the sixth session, couples often choose to work with us further, to further explore their difficulties or to establish a more substantial and healthy way of relating.
We are not therapists who “sit back” and let you do all the work. We are actively involved in the sessions, helping you to achieve what you want to get from them. Our aim is to free up the blocked situations that bring you to us, enabling you to get on with your lives.
As both male and female, we also can offer the possibility of working one to one to aid the couples' therapeutic process.