Marriage and Relationship Counselling, Couples Therapy
We expect so much from our intimate relationships - support, love, friendship, excitement, passion, companionship, loyalty, sustenance and respect, for starters. So often these high hopes end with both partners feeling hurt, disappointed with and even betrayed by one another.
I believe it is not just the pressures of life and life in London that cause this. Rather, it is my understanding that couples are impaired in their ability to love and support each other because each (unconsciously) expects the other to heal the wounds of the past.
In my couples work, personal stories are told so that understanding prevails over blame. This alters the dynamics of the relationship and enables both partners to discover and accept what is possible. The safe space I provide enables us to discover what lies behind destructive behaviours, This may be intense, but is also healing. It produces profound change in the relationship, in both partners and, couples often tell me, their children. (Indeed longitudinal studies in the US show that couples work produces healthier happier children - up to twenty years after the therapy.)
Many of the couples who come to me have previously seen a couples therapist or marriage counsellor who they feel "sided" with one partner or the other. Working with groups for many years has helped me avoid this.
Sessions are an hour long. My experience is that most couples find they make substantial progress within six sessions. Indeed, many couples have expressed amazement at how much we are able to accomplish in such a short time. After the sixth session, couples often choose to work with me further, to further explore their difficulties or to establish a more substantial and healthy way of relating.
I am not a therapist who “sits back” and let you do all the work. I am actively involved in the sessions, helping you to achieve what you want to get from them. My aim is to free up the blocked situations that bring you to therapy, enabling you to get on with your lives.